Monday Mood: You Don't Have To Share It

Private joy still counts.

By: Violet McCleod, Madeline

There’s a kind of magic in making something no one else will ever see. A song hummed under your breath. A scribble in the margins. A feeling you put into shape just to understand it better. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. It doesn’t have to be productive. It just has to be yours.

I’m the world’s worst about instant gratification, seeking validation like it will heal me. I throw out half-baked plans with glaring holes and then rush to patch them up. I’m a mess of a creative, but everything I do is still for me. What I need to learn is that not everything has to be seen. I’m a performer at heart — the world is my stage, and those in my life? They’re my co-stars.

But lately I’m learning to keep a few things tucked away. Not because they’re unfinished. Not because they’re not good enough. But because private joy still counts. The quiet things matter. The things you make just for the joy of making – they build you back, one quiet piece at a time.

You’re allowed to hold things close. To protect the work that’s still becoming. To build something beautiful and keep it behind closed doors. That doesn’t make it smaller. That doesn’t make you smaller. You’re still a real artist, even when no one’s watching. Especially then.

Today, I want you to create something – a playlist, a story, part of a song. Anything. And then I want you to keep it to yourself; treat yourself to small kindnesses, make your own gifts. 

"A Peaceful Life" - Original Composition (Doctor Who: The Holy Quest)

When I start writing a piece of music, I’m never certain whether or not it will ever end up being released or even completed in any capacity. I hope for the best, naturally, but the result never feels like the most important part of writing a piece. I’ve amassed a sizable amount of music that I never intend to see the light of day, but as happens occasionally when I find a sense of overwhelming pride in something, some bits and pieces tend to breach containment.

“A Peaceful Life,” today’s song, is one I mentioned last week as well, which was originally titled CE01B. It's one of the first piano demos I wrote as a part of my gallery, and while it was eventually assigned as a character theme in an audio project, it was initially never intended to be completed in any capacity. I started it to find a chord progression that I would enjoy on a personal level, and it just so happened to reach a point that I felt that other people might enjoy it as well. 

I felt no pressure to release this theme, or any subsequent variations of it, at any point during the writing process, and I feel like that helped it a fair amount on a compositional level. Writing for the sake of meeting a deadline or completing a commissioned work has never felt as personal to me as writing for the sake of writing, so I’ve consciously made sure that each new variation of this theme is truly worth sharing as opposed to keeping to myself. 

Thus far, there are three variations on this theme that I have made public, with a fourth one due to be released this Friday for the corresponding project. Each one is more than a rejig of an existing song; they’re a small, personal window into how I’m feeling at the moment of writing it. While I’m always elated when my music can brighten someone else’s day, this one is for me, too.

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